To Facial Hair or Not To Facial Hair?

I have been growing out my beard now for quite some time. I actually trimmed it about a half inch a week ago and I regret it. There are those of us that struggle with the indecision of keeping our facial hair. I have composed a list of Pros and Cons of keeping your facial hair. Since I currently sport a beard. I will hit on those points. Please consider carefully.

Pros

• If your beard is full, it gives you an intimidation factor wherever you go.
• Combine your beardiness with a mustached brother and you will obtain an ultimate intimidation factor.
• You will appear even more religious at church. Even if you do not know the answer, run your fingers through your beard, close your eyes and nod. No one will bother you.
• Your beard can hold up to an extra 10 lbs. of water for emergencies.
• If you are unsightly to begin with, a beard covers most of your face.
• In others eyes you will automatically know how to chop down trees and build a house. Your strength will also double.
• You do not have to shave.
• By not shaving you do not have razor rash.
• It holds in the warmth in the winter and keeps the sun off in the summer.
• What woman doesn't like a beard? It only irritates a ladies face in its youth. After that, it is silky soft.
• If you have a chubby face, it not only hides it, the extra chub only makes the beard look that much larger.

Cons

• If your beard is not full or thick, you will just look like a creeper.
• A not full beard combined with a not full mustached brother will land you in jail.
• Your beard can hold up to 10 lbs. of drool.
• If your beard is not full, it will not help with unsightliness, it will only magnify it.
• You may be asked to do more heavy lifting and help with projects around the neighborhood.
• Eating anything that has sauce in it, will surely end up in your beard.
• Drinking too fast out of a glass will result in water spilling out of the sides of your mouth. You no longer will have that seal.
• You very well be mistaken for a homeless man.

So there you have it. Mostly, your cons of having a beard have to do with how nice it comes in. If your beard is too juvanile and thin, the beard and mustache may not be the best fit. Unless, that is, if you are going for that creepy bring me your children look.